Mariah Carey says she’s no longer living in isolation after seeking treatment for a bipolar disorder.
In a People magazine article due on newsstands Friday, the singer says she didn’t believe it when she was first diagnosed after she was hospitalised for a physical and mental breakdown in 2001.
The 48-year-old says she lived in denial and isolation and feared someone would expose her.
For years she experienced periods of depression, hypomania, irritability, hyperactivity, and insomnia. “But it wasn’t normal insomnia and I wasn’t lying awake counting sheep,” the songstress continued. “I was working and working and working … I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down. It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania. Eventually, I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterised by having very low energy. I would feel so lonely and sad — even guilty that I wasn’t doing what I needed to be doing for my career.”
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It wasn’t until a recent downward spiral of events—professional turmoil, relationship drama and reality tv show—that Carey realised she needed to seek help. “Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me,” she said. “It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn’t do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love — writing songs and making music.”
Mariah Carey has sold over 200 million records along with 18 No. 1 hits. Eager to re-ignite her music career, the singer is committed to her therapy and medication for bipolar II disorder. “I refuse to allow it to define me or control me,” Carey vowed.
